If you are buying a sword directly from a vet family and it has kiri-komi, unless they have two swords, the kiri-komi are often original and not done by an 8 year old. If they have more than one sword, and there are hako-bore in the other sword, then it is most likely abusive damage. Also, the number and placement of the kiri-komi can often times be telling whether they are original or the result of play. It takes a substantial blow with something much more than a steak knife to put a good kiri-komi in the mune of a sword. Additionally, many times questioning the family about how and where the sword was kept will give you insight. For example, if they tell you they found it in the attic/basement/crawl space and no one knew uncle/grandfather/dad had it, odds are good it was kept hidden and not played with. Most of the time, if it has been abused, they will tell you that as kids, they played with it, or it was used to weed wack, etc.
Also, keep in mind that fresh kiri-komi look quite different from those that are older and have been through a polish or many.
Hako-bore and broken kissaki are the more common sign of abuse.
I once was at a small historical museum to evaluate their "sword". They pulled out a nice, long, Sukesada with full mei and date. It had a serrated mune so I asked where the other sword was..sheepishly, they then pulled out a beautiful Masahide wakizashi with amazing horimono. Sadly, very sadly, the edge was now serrated with hako-bore, almost perfect 1/4" chips all down the ha...Now, either this the lost "Nokogiri Masahide", or some kids had at it...When I asked whose handy work this was, the curator admitted that as kids they had "sword fought" with them, and showed me the cuts in the trim around several doors in the place. They were lucky they hadn't lost any fingers or worse. Unfortunately, the Masahide was ruined and the Sukesada would need considerable steel removed to ever look remotely normal....What a shame....
Of course, if you buy it from a dealer or other party removed from the original bring back, all you have to go on are the type, location, and number of kiri-komi for a hint at what happened and can never know with certainty.